This is reprinted from an email that I got on Valentines Day this year. I want to share it here because this is the one thing that God has continued to impress upon me for a few years now….learning to trust Him completely and to trust in His love for me.
From Angela Rose @ Laundry Moms
My plane landed in Atlanta and I began the usual scenario of making my way to baggage claim and then picking up the rental car. I still had a two hour drive up to the mountains to find the cabin before it got dark.
I wasn’t really looking forward to the weekend but had agreed to go as part of working on myself to reach my personal development goals. “Freedom to Hope” was a weekend designed to grow yourself in order to improve the relationships in your life.
Now, I love to travel but I tend to be a bit of a homebody…is there such a thing as an extroverted introvert? LOL…Plus, hanging out with complete strangers for three nights and four days, crying and spilling our guts to each other is not exactly my idea of a great get away. Nevertheless, I was going to go all in and get the most out of my time and money investment, but I had no idea all I was about to encounter.
My emotions were already in high gear after my husband’s project had come to an end after ten years with the same company, our family had been uprooted and moved across state, and stressful circumstances were surrounding our living arrangements.
Winding up the mountain road, I finally found the cabin and made my way in to the meet and greet, only to realize I wasn’t going to have a bedroom, but was staying on a cot in the loft. Honestly, I just kept counting down the hours till I could vacate this “vacation”.
As the sun came up the next morning, I skipped breakfast, grabbed some hot tea and found a comfy spot in the back just as the first session began. We had several sessions in a day and after the main teaching there was about 45 minutes of time carved into the program for alone time to hear from God.
So when we broke away, I found a secluded spot upstairs near a sliding glass door overlooking the majestic Georgia mountains, I sat down on the carpet and let the warm sunshine pour over my face as I closed my eyes, and took a deep sigh…I said…Ok, Lord…I’m here, what do you want to say to me?
And in that still quiet moment…as clear as a bell, I heard the Lord whisper…
“You don’t trust me.”
What???
I don’t trust you? I stammered…Lord, why would you say that?
I believed in you at the age of almost five years old, made it official with asking Jesus into my heart at 12 (so I didn’t miss the rapture), went to a Christian school, Christian college, and homeschooled my kids for 18 years, of course I trust you. (side note…arguing with the one who knows you inside and out better than you know yourself…I’ve learned is not always very smart!)
I stopped talking…He said it again…”Angela, you don’t trust me.”
“Your motto has been…’if it’s going to be it’s up to me’, and you have believed a lie.”
Tears began to roll down my face, even now as I write, my heart is grieved knowing that for so many years, I didn’t only pursue Him, but mostly what I could do for Him.
That’s not love.
That’s working to gain approval and is rooted completely in performing for love.
God loves us period.
No matter what we do or don’t do. He loved us before we were ever born.
Psalm 36:7 says,“O God, how extravagant is your cherishing love! He’s written “love notes” to us throughout His word!
On this Valentine’s day, I’m not sure if you received the dozen roses, or even your favorite flowers, maybe you scored a box of chocolates, or a special card, perhaps you didn’t receive anything at all, or maybe your special someone is not in your life any longer. Whatever the situation, I want to remind you…
You are loved.
Your Daddy God in heaven loves you more than you can imagine!
Returning from that life changing weekend in Georgia all those years ago sent me on a journey to pursue Him and not what I could do for Him.
Because if you don’t believe God loves you, then you won’t believe what God has promised you in all His “love notes” to you, and if you don’t trust Him and His word, your faith won’t work…
Because your faith works by how much you believe God loves you!
I pray this day as we celebrate LOVE you come to realize just how much God loves you, and nothing can ever separate you from His love!